My Adult Bar Mitzvah

On December 18, 2010, 35 years after turning 13, I finally became a Bar Mitzvah. It was a joyous occasion with my parents, sisters, family and friends present. During the ceremony, I presented a D'var Torah. It speaks of my journey and the importance of becoming a Bar Mitzvah as an adult. Here are the same words I read inside Temple Adat Shalom.

My D'var Torah

Growing up I always knew I was Jewish but something was missing. I loved celebrating Hanukkah and Passover but the meaning behind those special holidays was something I never really understood as a child. I certainly loved opening gifts each night of Hanukkah and searching for the affikomen on Passover but looking back, something was missing. What wasn’t there was a deeper understanding of what it meant to be Jewish. My journey in search of those answers has brought me here with you today.
What I lacked in religious knowledge I always made up for in curiosity. As a child I never felt like I was missing out on something by not becoming a Bar Mitzvah. But as I became an adult there was always a feeling of emptiness and with that emptiness came fear. Religion scared me although I’m not sure why. I often came up with excuses as to why I shouldn’t join a synagogue. I can’t afford it and I don’t read Hebrew were just a few, but deep down I knew I wanted more.
Four years ago I made a decision that changed my life forever. I decided to pursue Bar Mitzvah training by becoming a member of Temple Adat Shalom. It turned out being one of the most fulfilling decisions I’ve ever made.
This is truly a celebration. But those who know me best also know that this isn’t the only thing I’ve celebrated the past few months. I’m still giddy over my San Francisco Giants winning the World Series!

I am so thrilled to be celebrating this day with my family and friends. Some of my family members came a long way to be with me today. I’m truly touched to be joined by my dad and stepmom who came all the way from Boston. My mom, stepdad and uncle are here from Scottsdale, my sisters are down from Oxnard & L.A. and my best friend is down from the Bay Area. I’m also joined by my wonderful in-laws, friends and co-workers. Thank you all so much for being here.
Before I continue must thank the one woman who’s been by my side during this journey… and a lot longer than that, my wife Kristine. Hon, thanks for being there and never giving up on me and for the never ending support you’ve given me while I studied for this day over the past year. I love you. It was Kristine’s own journey in earning her Masters & becoming a Nationally Board Certified Teacher that inspired me to pursue this.
I must also say thanks to my sons Matthew & Jordan who bring me more joy than they’ll ever know. I love you guys! Of course I couldn’t have done this without the Dynamic Duo… I’m talking about Rabbi David Castiglione and Cantor Lori Frank. Learning from them and getting to know them in a way most Temple members never get the chance to…. has been nothing short of amazing. Finally a huge thank you to my B’nai Mitzvah partners Lorraine, Sybil and Juliet for their friendship. What we shared together is indescribable!
When Rabbi told me I’d get the chance to share with all of you how I feel about my journey and what brought me here, I was very excited. But when I found out I’d also have to tie it in to the Torah portion I read my reaction was, uh oh!
I’ve never been one to quote scripture. Unless lyrics to Bruce Springsteen’s “Born to

Run” were considered scripture…. “The highways jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive,” then I was in trouble.
It took some time, but I was finally able to figure things out. My torah portion finds Jacob on his deathbed, calling his 12 sons together to bless them. Some of the sons would receive greater blessings than others. But even those sons who were rebuked by Jacob and whose futures were portrayed as dismal were blessed. What Jacob speaks of is prophecy. His words reveal “things to come” for his descendants or in other words, their destiny.
Destiny brought me here with you today, but was it preordained? I think not. During our lives we’re faced with making decisions. But little do we know at the time that some of those decisions are life changing moments. I faced one such moment in December 1985. I was engaged to Kristine, just six months away from getting married and my dad offered me a job that I turned down. It was in the very early days of sports talk radio and it was a wonderful opportunity. However it would have kept me on the East Coast thousands of miles away from the woman I loved. My self esteem or lack thereof got the best of me. Having zero confidence that a long distance relationship would work, I turned down the opportunity. Over the years I’ve often wondered how things would have played out had I taken that job. There is some regret over my decision. But one thing I do know is that if I had taken that job I wouldn’t be here with you today.
My life has been far from perfect and I continue to make amends for mistakes I’ve made. But life is more about progress, not perfection. I keep that in mind as I celebrate this very special day with my friends and family. I’m so proud and honored to share this with you.
Thank you.

I admit it, I'm a "Gleek!"

The problem with television these days is that most shows follow the same old, worn out themes. Most sitcoms are terrible save for a few like Two and a Half Men, How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory and although I haven't seen it I've heard good things about Modern Family. Television network dramas are pretty dull especially the crime/law shows. I do like the few episodes I've seen of The Good Wife, but the Law & Orders and CSI's have just gotten boring. With Lost & 24 ending their runs the shows I seem to enjoy most are the reality shows. Survivor, Amazing Race, American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, Top Chef and even Project Runway. I enjoy them all. But to me no show stands out more this season than "Glee." It's fresh, funny, topical, well acted, well written and the music numbers are really terrific! The actress who plays Rachel (Lea Michele) is absolutely fantastic. Her voice is incredible. It's the one show these days that Kristine, myself and Jordan will all sit down and watch together. That's saying a lot. Pulling Jordan away from the computer or video games is always a challenge, but he too enjoys Glee. Of course it's not for everyone but I'm just an old drama geek at heart. Much of my high school days involved drama. I performed in such shows as Inherit the Wind, Godspell, Bye Bye Birdie and many more. In many ways I can relate to the talented young students on the show. But most of all Glee is just fun. So that's it. I'm a "Gleek" and proud of it!

Family Vacations

It's funny how something as simple as planning a summer vacation can turn into a major headache. For years we've been wanting to travel to France where my wife's best friend own's a home in Provence, the South of France. Last Fall we set up some tentative dates. But when we realized the trip for the four of us would cost about $10-12,000 we decided to put it on hold. OK then why not a cruise to Alaska? So I booked a couple of cabins on a cruise which cost about $4000. That was OK but once we realized with airfare, excursions and hotel for a few nights in Seattle all of a sudden that jumped to about $7000... too much. OK then why not an all inclusive resort? I checked Jamaica, Mexico, & Florida. We found a Club Med in Port St. Lucie, Florida that seemed pretty good. A week for the four of us for about $2800 and with airfare about $4400. Jordan was way excited about this one. But then Kristine said why don't we just plan something on our own that's not inclusive? With a son in college, money is always tight and since we do want to save for the Europe trip for when Matthew and Jordan graduate in two years, we decided to plan a less expensive trip. Now the plan is to fly up to Seattle spend a few days there and a few days in Vancouver. Believe it or not this trip on our own will be a lot less expensive than a cruise or all-inclusive beach resort. So we won't be going to Europe or cruising to Alaska. We won't be going to an all-inclusive resort or dude ranch (yep we checked those out too.) What matters most is that the four of us will be together and that is what's important!

Chelsea & Amber

Stunning moments inside a San Diego courtroom yesterday when convicted sex offender John Gardner admitted to killing two San Diego teenagers, 14 year old Amber Dubois and 17 year old Chelsea King. These two horrific crimes occurred more than a year apart but they are forever linked. Amber was taken from in front of Escondido High School in February 2009 and while efforts to find her continued for months, the general consensus, at least inside my newsroom, was that she was a runaway. Many more months passed and sadly it seems the public forgot about Amber.

Just weeks ago in March 2010 Poway High teenager Chelsea King was reported missing. Her car was spotted at a Rancho Bernardo parking lot at a community park popular with joggers. Days later her body was found buried in a shallow grave. Within days convicted sex offender John Gardner was arrested and charged with raping and murdering Chelsea. Shockingly after his arrest authorities came across the body of Amber Dubois buried near the Pala Indian reservation. Up until yesterday it was a mystery how authorities suddenly were able to find Amber's body. As it turns out Gardner offered up that information to prosecutors in exchange for them not being able to use it against him in court.

While prosecutors say they had plenty of evidence to convict Gardner for the rape and murder of Chelsea King with special circumstance (making Gardner eligible for the death penalty,) they were unable to come up with any independent evidence linking him to Amber. This put San Diego County District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis in a tough spot. If she were to prosecute Gardner for Chelsea's death seeking the death penalty it would forever leave the Amber case officially unsolved.

In discussing this with Chelsea's parents they decided to offer a plea deal to Gardner. He confesses to the rapes and murders of Chelsea and Amber along with an attempted rape last December in exchange for avoiding the death penalty. Gardner agreed.

I have mixed emotions about this deal. While I've never been a strong proponent of the death penalty, there are times I feel it's adequate. This was one of those times. However, since seeking the death penalty for Chelsea would have meant a lack of closure for Amber's parents, I feel the deal was a proper call.

The Dubois and King families will forever live with the horrors of the deaths of their daughters, but now can move on with their lives. For the Kings it means avoiding a prolonged death penalty case. They will now be able to focus on raising their teenage son and work towards a new law protecting the public from convicted sex offenders. For Amber's parents it means total closure, knowing the monster who killed their daughter will spend the rest of his life in prison.

As a professional journalist these types of stories are the most difficult to cover. Day in and day out we must report the facts detailing these horrific crimes. I've covered way too many of them over the years.... Jahi Turner, Matthew Cecchi, Danielle Van Dam, Laticia Hernandez... and many, many more whose names I've forgotten. But I will never forget the names of Amber Dubois and Chelsea King, two young women who won't get the chance to grow up. Sad times indeed.

Missing Him

Hard to believe, but I haven't seen my older son Matthew now for four months. He's is winding down his second year at Chico State. It's so strange when we get older how we adjust to separation. I love Matthew today as much as the day he was born, but sometimes I kind of forget I have another son. It's sort of like out of sight out of mind. The adjustment at home from two boys to one was extremely difficult for Kristine and I. But after more than a year and a half it seems pretty normal just having Jordan home. Having Matthew home is now the exception not the rule, so when it happens it's more of an "event." We are all so looking forward to having him home for the summer. He's a terrific kid, kind, funny, thoughtful... his mom and I raised him well. Whatever he decides to do in life I'm sure he'll be successful. Miss you Matthew.

New Year's Eve

Here comes New Year's Eve again and the big question arises. Make plans to go out or stay at home? The pressure is on to go out because that's just what you do on New Year's Eve right? But truth is there's nothing I'd rather do on New Year's Eve than to hang out at home and watch Dick Clark's "Rockin' New Year's Eve" and watch the ball drop in Times Square. Hanging out at home with the family seems like the perfect way to bring in the new year. I think I'll do just that. Happy New Year... welcome 2010.